A Love/Hate Letter to my PhD Thesis

Dear Thesis,

I am writing you this letter to let you know how I feel about you. 

I love how we always go on trips to far and near locations, so I can talk to so many interesting people about you. I love how just having you in my life allows me to read everything there is out there, and organise get-togethers with like-minded people.

I love how your development is entirely dependent on my dedication and effort.

I love how everything comes together like a puzzle when I do things right.

I love how you’re making me explore things I never even thought about, expand my mind, renew my thinking.

I love how you’re making me look at Language and text and ideology in a completely new way.

I love how some other people are impressed by you (and by me doing you) whenever I tell them about you.

In very short, Thesis, what I love about you is doing you.

But, dear Thesis, there are also so many things I hate about you.

I hate how you make me feel guilty for not spending every waking hour with you. I hate how being with you saps all my energy, leaving me incapable of doing anything but sleeping when I get home.

I hate how you make me feel inferior because you make me compare myself with the achievements and writings of other, cleverer people.

I hate how spending time with you isolates me from the rest of the world, from my friends, from my family.

I hate how you seem to actively aggravate my anxiety.

Dear Thesis, it seems we are in a bit of an unhealthy relationship.

Dear Thesis, I will stick it through, because it will get better and it will be worth it.

Or at least that’s what they’ve promised me.

Because Thesis, I love you. But sometimes you make it really, really easy to hate you.

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Author: Ilse A Ras

There are times when I am doing research on crime news and language; sometimes I'm obsessed, sometimes I'm bored, and sometimes my tea is getting cold.

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